Ready for Change

When I first started this healing journey over fifteen years ago, I was in a bad place and going through a very difficult time and I could not stop crying. I felt like I had just been handed the last blow I could handle and now everything I “stuffed” inside since I was nine years old wanted to be released all at once. The person who would later on introduce me to embracing this spiritual side of myself, said to me that this journey is all about baby steps. She told me to just focus on the joy in your life and try not to cry or be sad for one minute today – and then that one minute will eventually turn to one hour, then one day, then one week, then one month, then before you know it you will realize that you haven’t felt such deep sorrow for a whole year. At that time, it seemed so unattainable, but I put all my hope and faith in what she said and that I could do this. It was so hard to see the good when I felt like my whole world was crashing around me and I felt so broken inside. I felt so lost and like such a failure as a person but instead of giving up, I made the choice to pick myself up and start again. That is why I always say that healing is a choice because you can choose the path to give up or you can choose the path where it is a conscious choice to dig deep and find the strength to do things differently, see things differently, and approach life differently. I believed with all my heart and soul that positive change could happen for me. Baby steps were needed, but change was right there waiting for me.

The change you need or desire in your life may not be as drastic as mine was or have as much trauma attached to it, but everyone has a story and most people I meet have a desire to make their life better. Every person has a right to peace, love and happiness while they are here, and everyone holds the key to that inside themselves. Your change may be as small as eating healthier, creating a better work environment, having a better relationship with your partner or your kids, and it all starts with taking small but productive steps every day to make it happen. My life has settled down a lot and normalized in comparison to fifteen years ago, so now the big change I want to make in my life involves my career. I have a year plan in mind, but right now my baby steps are writing a little every day and committing to posting my blog every Wednesday. That is a small part of what I can control right now towards the desired change I want for myself.

Nothing changes until something changes is a powerful statement that I heard many years ago. Powerful because it is a reminder that on the journey for change, the only thing not tolerated is standing still and doing things the same as before. This concept may seem overwhelming at first, so in the beginning, just pick one thing to do differently. The change at first can be something as simple as driving to work a different way and that alone can take you off autopilot. This one small change in your daily routine can bring you to see a store, or a park, or something you never noticed before. The world looking new may be just enough to get you started. The other suggestion is to shop at a different grocery store. We can be creatures of habit and like to do the same thing and eat the same thing so going into a store where you don’t know where anything is can promote small changes. The not knowing where anything is may frustrate you at first, but it will also make you open your eyes to new surroundings.

Keep in mind moving forward, that once your journey begins you may start noticing small changes in yourself right away. You may start changing your look or you may start to not like your clothes because they make you feel uncomfortable - or you will feel the need to get new glasses or grow facial hair - anything for change. You are embracing a new you (which is sometimes the old you that got lost) and sometimes we just feel the need to shed some of that past self. I cut my hair off and threw away all my old clothes because they made me feel very uncomfortable, so just follow your gut and you will see what comes up for you. This feeling also happens with material things. I will talk in detail in a future blog about clinging to the past and the need for decluttering your life, but for now if you notice something no longer brings you joy let it go. I would pay attention to how things felt in my hand, and after a while I was able to touch things and knew if they had to go or if it had a place in my new life. You will figure it out. Just stay true to you - block out the noise from other people - and start living your life for you - as you. Just be your “self”.

I will also do a future blog on gratitude, but please remember when making changes in your life, that it is important to have gratitude for what you have right now. That may be a hard concept if you are struggling and have very little, but you can always find one thing every day to be grateful for. I always remind my kids that no matter what is going on, always be grateful for your health because we are blessed that way. You can also be grateful you woke up today, or be grateful if you didn’t cry today, or show gratitude for just a smile from someone you don’t know. When we are grateful for what we have right now in the moment before we get what we really want - that’s when everything starts to change so we can get what we really want. That’s the circle - that’s the lesson.

In love and light,

Fran

 

The Journey Begins

One of the main reasons for starting my blog is because I know I am proof there is light after darkness and hoping my story can help you on your own healing journey. Moving away from our past and who we were and how we did things is a process and can seem very overwhelming at first. The hardest part is knowing where to begin, so just remember that healing comes from within, and you are in control of your own life. We are creatures of habit so, in the beginning, making changes can be a difficult process. Every decision I made to move forward had to be a conscious choice and I spent a lot of time just trying to get off autopilot and break old habits and old ways of doing things. My advice is to take it slow and be kind to yourself and love yourself because that is what this journey is all about. The people I have met on this same journey all have one thing in common – they forgot to love themselves along the way and gave too much until they had nothing left to give.

We can get so lost when we aren’t loving ourselves because nobody is looking out for us. Many times, the reality of our existence is we gave up and started allowing ourselves to be verbally, mentally, and/or emotionally abused, and that can be true for work as well as our personal relationships. I have first-hand experience in toxic relationships, so I can understand how a person can lose themselves and choose to stay in environments and relationships that they should no longer be in. We can get used to what feels like a normal and comfortable way of living and be so far in before we even realize there is an issue. Once awake to the issue and the need for change, it is important to take a good look at yourself and your situation and start making healthier choices for yourself. You are free to do what’s best for yourself – so you must figure out what the negative hold is on you and work through that and break free. Learn to detach with love. Changing your life becomes the fight of your life, but I know with hard work it is possible to come out on the other side stronger and more secure in who you are than you have ever been.

Looking back, I could never imagine being pulled into such a dark place. Once I came to terms with where I was and where I wanted to be, I started making changes. I really had to take a step back, look within, and see where I was part of the problem. I had to take responsibility for how I was creating my own unhappy reality. Once it is there, it takes a very conscious effort to keep negativity out of your life and change your way of thinking, acting and reacting. Fear and anger must be replaced with love and forgiveness in order to live a healthier, happier life. I learned from the very beginning of this journey that the best way to do that is with prayer and learning to be your own best friend. I kept a journal for two years and wrote in it every morning. I prayed for healing. I prayed to be a better person. I prayed that I would learn how to come from a healthier place. I prayed for the strength to overcome my ego and live my life from my true self. I prayed and I thanked God for every little thing that went right. The more thankful I was the more positive things would come into my life. Over time I began to heal, and I started to live my life again. I slowly remembered who I was before I forgot who I was. I have faith, hope and prayer to thank for getting me through that darkest time in my life.

As I go through the next year sharing my blog, I plan to go into detail about journaling, prayer, gratitude, meditation and many other tools that helped me along the way. Change doesn’t happen overnight it takes baby steps. Hopefully through the year you can get yourself started and by the end of the year you will have learned enough about healing and have enough tools to help make these same changes for yourself. I always say that healing takes a lot of work and structure and dedication and making changes and waking up can be the hardest part of your life, but it can also be the most rewarding. I see the world in a whole new way now and embrace everything about my past both good and bad. I wouldn’t change any of it because every step along the way brought me right here to where I am today. I am very grateful for the life I have right now and all the people both old and new who are in it. Releasing fear and anger allows you to see that everything happens for us, not to us, and we are always learning and growing. Life is a gift, and it is important to see it that way.

The following list can be looked at as instructions to get started or, as I like to call it, my mini guide to healing. It is important to set an intention for yourself of what you want your life to look like in the next year. Better relationship, more money, stability, just peace, you decide what is the most important change that you want or need in your life right now. Your thoughts create your life, so once the intention is set then automatically everything you do every day and all the decisions you make for yourself, both big and small, will become geared towards reaching that goal. The most important part is to make conscious choices and decisions and take yourself off autopilot. You must wake yourself up and be in control of your own life. Small changes will start to happen right away, but I have noticed for myself that it always takes about a year to start to see the intention that I set for myself start to show up in my reality.



Your Mini Guide to Healing

Remember that healing is work but worth every second.

Healing isn’t a destination it is a journey and can take years to a lifetime to achieve.

Be prepared for how different life will look in the beginning - you will feel as if you just took off a pair of sunglasses. You will be amazed and angry at what you see and wonder how you let things get that out of control. You must remind yourself that you did the best you could with what information you had available to you at that moment in time and moving forward you will promise yourself to do better and be better.

Don’t get angry at other people when you are angry with yourself.

Forgive yourself for where you are and what you didn’t know or couldn’t see and then move forward.

Remember your will for change has to be stronger than your fear of change.

Keep your eyes forward and out of the past. Focus on the here and now.

Remember that focusing on the past brings pain - the future brings worry - the present brings peace.

Love yourself. This journey is about self-love, so you have to love yourself and take time for yourself first. Loving yourself first is the only way you will have enough left over to give to everyone else.

Take 5 minutes for yourself every morning before your day starts then no matter what happens during the day you know you gave to yourself first and will never feel resentful.

Respect yourself - if you don’t then you can’t expect anyone else to either - you set the standard for how to be treated.

Forgiveness isn’t weakness - forgiving others helps to heal yourself.

Be grateful for who you are and what you have.

Learn to go with the flow - if you are forcing something to happen then don’t do that - that is a block put up to protect you and help you from going off your own life path.

When you hear something or see something three times pay attention – the message is for you.

Breathe.

Eat healthy - sleep 7-8 hours - drink water. Everything else is ok but in moderation.

Live a balanced life: Work - Rest - Play - Pray - Exercise.

Make room for the people and things that bring joy to your life: Live - Love – Laugh.

Meditate - even if meditation for you means sitting still with your own thoughts for a few minutes.

Pay attention to your thoughts and trust your intuition and you will be Divinely guided in the right direction.

While you are working on yourself try and stay away from negative news, tv, movies and negative people.

Find at least one thing to be grateful for every day. When you are grateful for what you already have then you will automatically receive more.

Keep a gratitude journal. Make it special and pick up a notebook with your favorite color and a cool pen you like, or you can get a small box or jar and write on post it notes and put them in it. If you don’t want to keep a real journal with pen and paper, then use the notes on your phone. I believe journals become like a portal to the other side and magical things happen when you show gratitude. At the end of the year, you can have a ceremony for yourself where you burn your journals. Ten years ago, I did a ceremony with a few friends and burned eight journals and it was a very healing experience.

Use crystals, sage, essential oils, meditation, prayer, Reiki or whatever speaks to you to protect yourself and make a safe space for yourself. Even a nice chair in the corner near a window can become a safe space to think, write or just be alone with your thoughts.

… and the journey begins.

In love and light,

Fran

Out of Darkness

Welcome to my blog. My name is Fran Siebe, and I am an artist and intuitive energy healer with an emphasis on Healing through Art, Reiki, Hypnosis, Guided Meditation and Relaxation Techniques. My blog and my spiritual services are intended to help others find their own inner peace and happiness after a decade long soul journey of finding my own.

My first blog is titled, Out of Darkness, because it best describes my journey. I didn’t realize how much in the grips of darkness I was until the day I woke up and wanted out. That was also the moment the true work and new life path to find myself began. It was in no way an easy journey and it is still going on today. My blog and my spiritual services are a way for me to give back and intended to help others who find themselves looking for change and looking for peace. I have learned that healing comes from within and will be walking you through finding that same empowerment. "Building confidence through self-love and self-expression".

My first lesson was that I had to give the same love, respect and attention to myself that I was giving to everyone else. The minute I did that, new doors opened for me. This was a new way of living that I wasn’t previously aware of, and I slowly became connected to a force outside of myself. The universe started making great things happen, but decisions not coming from a place of love and that considered everyone was no longer tolerated.  Each baby step away from my past and out of darkness was another step closer to knowing myself again. I was always religious, always had gifts that would label me an empath or intuitive (or strange), but I slowly started living by an inner code to do the right thing and say the right thing - always. Healing, for me, was an ongoing process of waking up that came with the responsibility of being very aware of everything. I was slowly healing, but I was also growing as a person, as an artist, as a healer, and life as I knew it was changing. I found myself on a spiritual path leading me right out of darkness and there was no turning back.

Healing is a choice and once that choice is made you learn to love yourself again, break free from old patterns and negative ways of thinking and create the life you want. That was my experience - and if you make a commitment to yourself to embrace change, it can be yours too. My plan for the next year is to blog weekly about everything I learned from my studies and from my experience. My hope is that it can help others on their healing journey, and I also look forward to seeing where the next year of blogging will take me on mine.

In love and light,

Fran