Ready for Change

When I first started this healing journey over fifteen years ago, I was in a bad place and going through a very difficult time and I could not stop crying. I felt like I had just been handed the last blow I could handle and now everything I “stuffed” inside since I was nine years old wanted to be released all at once. The person who would later on introduce me to embracing this spiritual side of myself, said to me that this journey is all about baby steps. She told me to just focus on the joy in your life and try not to cry or be sad for one minute today – and then that one minute will eventually turn to one hour, then one day, then one week, then one month, then before you know it you will realize that you haven’t felt such deep sorrow for a whole year. At that time, it seemed so unattainable, but I put all my hope and faith in what she said and that I could do this. It was so hard to see the good when I felt like my whole world was crashing around me and I felt so broken inside. I felt so lost and like such a failure as a person but instead of giving up, I made the choice to pick myself up and start again. That is why I always say that healing is a choice because you can choose the path to give up or you can choose the path where it is a conscious choice to dig deep and find the strength to do things differently, see things differently, and approach life differently. I believed with all my heart and soul that positive change could happen for me. Baby steps were needed, but change was right there waiting for me.

The change you need or desire in your life may not be as drastic as mine was or have as much trauma attached to it, but everyone has a story and most people I meet have a desire to make their life better. Every person has a right to peace, love and happiness while they are here, and everyone holds the key to that inside themselves. Your change may be as small as eating healthier, creating a better work environment, having a better relationship with your partner or your kids, and it all starts with taking small but productive steps every day to make it happen. My life has settled down a lot and normalized in comparison to fifteen years ago, so now the big change I want to make in my life involves my career. I have a year plan in mind, but right now my baby steps are writing a little every day and committing to posting my blog every Wednesday. That is a small part of what I can control right now towards the desired change I want for myself.

Nothing changes until something changes is a powerful statement that I heard many years ago. Powerful because it is a reminder that on the journey for change, the only thing not tolerated is standing still and doing things the same as before. This concept may seem overwhelming at first, so in the beginning, just pick one thing to do differently. The change at first can be something as simple as driving to work a different way and that alone can take you off autopilot. This one small change in your daily routine can bring you to see a store, or a park, or something you never noticed before. The world looking new may be just enough to get you started. The other suggestion is to shop at a different grocery store. We can be creatures of habit and like to do the same thing and eat the same thing so going into a store where you don’t know where anything is can promote small changes. The not knowing where anything is may frustrate you at first, but it will also make you open your eyes to new surroundings.

Keep in mind moving forward, that once your journey begins you may start noticing small changes in yourself right away. You may start changing your look or you may start to not like your clothes because they make you feel uncomfortable - or you will feel the need to get new glasses or grow facial hair - anything for change. You are embracing a new you (which is sometimes the old you that got lost) and sometimes we just feel the need to shed some of that past self. I cut my hair off and threw away all my old clothes because they made me feel very uncomfortable, so just follow your gut and you will see what comes up for you. This feeling also happens with material things. I will talk in detail in a future blog about clinging to the past and the need for decluttering your life, but for now if you notice something no longer brings you joy let it go. I would pay attention to how things felt in my hand, and after a while I was able to touch things and knew if they had to go or if it had a place in my new life. You will figure it out. Just stay true to you - block out the noise from other people - and start living your life for you - as you. Just be your “self”.

I will also do a future blog on gratitude, but please remember when making changes in your life, that it is important to have gratitude for what you have right now. That may be a hard concept if you are struggling and have very little, but you can always find one thing every day to be grateful for. I always remind my kids that no matter what is going on, always be grateful for your health because we are blessed that way. You can also be grateful you woke up today, or be grateful if you didn’t cry today, or show gratitude for just a smile from someone you don’t know. When we are grateful for what we have right now in the moment before we get what we really want - that’s when everything starts to change so we can get what we really want. That’s the circle - that’s the lesson.

In love and light,

Fran