Let it Go

Journaling every day is the easiest way to get started on this journey of healing and change and will also be the most important tool you take away from this experience. I am a big believer in using writing to help heal yourself when you are not the big talking about your problems type. Journaling is also very personal and a great way to get to know yourself again. Most of us on this journey got lost somewhere along the way, and this will help you find yourself again. You will be journaling about your fears, your desires, your anger, your love and every feeling, both good and bad, that you hold inside of yourself. There is something very therapeutic about putting things down on paper. You get it out, release it and then let it go (yes, my dear sister, just like the song lol). I share with others now that when you really want to heal your soul and live your life as a happier, balanced, more positive person, then journaling becomes like a doorway to Heaven and your prayers really are answered.

Some of the reasons why we do things the way we do goes back to the “junk” we carry from our childhood, and journaling becomes that place where you dump that junk and work through it. I mentioned in my last blog that finding a place in your home to create a safe space for writing or just sitting with your own thoughts is very important. Journaling gives the room and space to get to know yourself again while your mind, body and soul heals and accepts it’s new normal without any external influences. Our mind and body love to keep playing old tapes, that’s why in the beginning everything you do has to be a conscious choice. Journaling will also have to be a conscious choice.

I always keep two journals, a gratitude journal to put the good stuff in and a healing journal to get the bad stuff out. Some people are good at being open and talking about their problems, but some of us spend a lifetime stuffing our sorrows, our traumas and our feelings and need a little help. My experience is you can keep stuffing your feelings all you want, but eventually they are going to show their ugly faces. Those stuffed feelings may show up as anger, addiction, depression and may even manifest as illness because everything stuffed needs a way to escape. Trauma gets locked in our bodies and needs a release and that is where journaling comes into play. When you first start your healing journey it will feel like you stirred up a pot of soup that’s been sitting for a long time, and then suddenly everything is swirling around and needs somewhere to go. Those feelings will show up as anger, sadness, confusion, and many other negative feelings, so journaling will help to get them all out and released.

A gratitude journal will be the easier one because being grateful just requires you to be thankful for what you already have. Thank God, thank yourself, be grateful for your job, the people in your life, money you have, food on the table, good things that happen, be grateful for having the strength to get through another day, the list is endless for what we can be grateful for. Keep this journal separate and write in it every morning before you start your day or at night when you have completed your day. I always liked to take a few minutes every morning before my day started because I was stuck in a cycle of over-giving, and doing this for myself in the morning helped me get through my day. I noticed when I took just a few minutes in the morning to write in my journal and be grateful, then I was starting my day seeing the positive side, giving to myself first, and then I wouldn’t feel resentful for not having any time left for myself throughout the day. I was learning to put myself first. Like I stated previously, I do believe that gratitude journals become like a portal to the other side. Magical things happen when you show gratitude.

My gratitude journal simply states gratitude right across the front for everyone to see. The other journal, your healing journal, will be more private because it is ends up being our darkest thoughts and fears. This journal is personal and for your eyes only. This journal I kept tucked away in a drawer and when I wrote in it, I did it in handwriting that couldn’t be read back. I would write very fast in a scribbling sort of way, so that even if it was found no one could read it – I couldn’t even read it.  I was free to write whatever I wanted without the fear of it being read and judged by someone who found it. This allows you to not edit or judge what you write and, in the moment, just let those feelings go. Write down any sad, angry, hateful, ugly, painful, resentful thoughts or feelings that come up that you would never share with anyone. Those feelings are toxic to your physical body when they are kept inside and need to be released. They are your past and you are meant to keep your eyes forward so don’t go back and read what you wrote. Put a pen to paper and just see what comes up for you. Don't worry how much you write - it can be one sentence, one paragraph, one page, ten pages, just get it down. Take your thoughts out of it and just write and you will be surprised what comes up. Things you forgot about and didn’t realize you were holding onto will come up too. I can remember trying to write as the tears were falling down my face and landing on the pages. My advice is to just keep going because this is when healing is taking place. Releasing this pain and hurt is the best gift you will ever give to yourself. Those tears will help wash away the pain and start the path towards peace and happiness.

When I first started to make changes and heal, I had to remember that some thoughts and feelings are not about our present but just our past on replay. We learn to see those feelings for what they are and work through them and let them go. This is not an overnight process and will take some time for you to let go of the old while trying to embrace the new. Remember that the body is always behind the mind and spirit and takes a while to catch up. You will feel uncomfortable with that in between space, the place where you are outgrowing your past, but you still haven’t embraced where you are going. The fear of the unknown can take over, so it is very important to stay in the present moment and live life one day at a time. The body will eventually know it doesn’t have to be on high alert waiting for the other shoe to drop because it will be caught up with your new normal. You will know you have healed and will be in balance. Change (and journaling) can be a beautiful and powerful thing.

When I am finished writing in my journals, I let them go too. I make it a ceremony and offer them up with gratitude for everything I’ve been through in my life and grateful for who I am right now in this moment. Ten years ago, I did a ceremony for myself with a few friends and burned eight journals and it was a very powerful and healing experience. Another time I had a box filled with gratitude notes and offered them up into a campfire while playing music. If you can’t burn them, then throw them away but make it a special experience for yourself. You can wrap them up like a gift and before you throw them away offer up gratitude for the experience and the gift of healing. Whatever ceremony speaks to you do that for yourself.

Now go out and buy yourself a journal and start writing. Your inner child will be grateful that you did.

 

In love and light,

Fran