A New Normal

Now that we are coming up to the end of our year journey together, I am trying to be more selective of the topics I choose to write about. The purpose of this blog is to share with you everything I have learned from my experience with healing, and I want to make sure I share all of it with you. The one topic that came to mind last night as I was fumbling around with my new life, is feeling comfortable in your new normal whatever that may look like for you. The most important thing to remember is that you must get comfortable feeling uncomfortable until the changes you made for yourself have been there for a while, until they become your new normal. The in-between is that place where you are no longer in the old way of doing things, but your new normal way of doing things is a very uncomfortable place. Time and staying dedicated to your new self and your new life is what helps with that. We are creatures of habit, and we get comfortable even if that place is unhealthy and uncomfortable, and it is what we know so we stay there. That’s why so many people will make plans for change and then choose to stay stuck. It is also why we will make changes and then go right back to the old way of doing things. Change is scary and coming out of our comfort zone feels very uncomfortable. We must have trust and faith in the changes we made for ourselves while we are in that part right before it becomes our new normal. The ones who take the leap of faith and never look back are the ones who can tell you that the other side of that uncomfortable feeling is a new life, a better life. It is a place where your new normal is better than anything you ever imagined for yourself. It is the place you find peace.

The holidays are a great time to notice when life looks different and the changes that happened in the previous months aren’t our new normal yet. The other side of that is people wanted to make changes, but didn’t, and now feeling angry, sad and sometimes just pretending they are happy. The holidays are here, and the commercials say we should be happy, so the masks go on. But we must give ourselves permission to be who we are and remember that life happens no matter what day of the year it is. Allow yourself the time to process all of it. Marriage, divorce, birth, death, children moving out, children being born, combining families, retirement, losing jobs, finding new ones, life happens and asks us to evolve with it. The one thing we can rely on is that life always changes and maybe the lesson is to not get too attached to any of it. Go with the flow of change and trust in the plan of God and The Universe and be open to all of it.

This topic came up this week because I am at that place right now where I am extremely uncomfortable. My kids aren’t with me for the holidays, there’s snow, I’m cold, finally made it to the gym so everything hurts, I’m in a new job, a new apartment and nothing right now for me feels normal. But then I remembered that this is exactly what I signed up for. I signed up for a change. I made the choice to move where it’s cold and where it snows. I made a choice to have the next chapter of my life look completely different than the last. It does and I did that. The lesson now is to trust every single decision I made. I must have faith and trust in what I can’t see up ahead. I must have the confidence to keep going. I must remember that I have learned so much and the decisions I make now are based on knowledge and healing, they are never based on fear. That is my new normal, trusting in myself and my intuition is my new normal, and what is going on externally in my world right now just hasn’t caught up yet; but it will. The place where life delivers me only the good that I ask for isn’t something I am used to, so it isn’t my new normal yet, but I am starting to trust that it is.

Most of us on this journey spend our lives waiting for the other shoe to drop and believe that good things don’t happen to us, so I am better off staying stuck than risking being hurt or disappointed. I am here to let you know that’s just negative self-talk, all an illusion, and the opposite is true. You are deserving of a new life and a happy one. Take that leap of faith and then stay in that uncomfortable place for a little while knowing that feeling shall pass, and once it does you will be living the life you always dreamed of.

In love and light,

Fran