My youngest son, we always joke, has the best attitude towards life and we all want to grow up to be just like him. We all agree he is the function in our dysfunction. Looking at him you would think he was born into an easy life, but as his mom, I can tell you for a fact that he was not. The difference between him and the rest of us is he does not focus on the past or let it affect him; he lives in the present and his eyes are always straight forward. He has the best attitude towards life and just takes it as it comes. He holds onto nothing. We have taken on his attitude through our healing journeys, and we are all doing better for it.
Freedom from your past means releasing whatever and whoever is keeping you chained to it. Some of us are open to change and some of us, like myself, must have the Universe knock you on your butt to see that change is needed. Signs you are still chained to your past are always right there for you to see if you just open your eyes. Sometimes when we are hit with a life changing event, or just unhappy in a relationship or situation, we may shut down and give up. Doing anything other than the same thing over and over feels like too much work. You feel tired, beaten down and slowly your light begins to fade. You may feel like you are dying inside – and this is because, spiritually speaking, you are. Your soul and your spirit and everything that makes you who you are, slowly starts to disappear. You stop being you. What we don’t realize in that moment is there is a stronger you waiting to emerge.
When you make the decision to give up and just stay where you are and stop caring about what happens to yourself you open the door to negativity and darkness. By not being fully present your life gets put on autopilot, you get put in survival mode and all the happiness and joy in life seems minimal or non-existent. You are numb to all of it. Your past slowly takes over and hijacks both your present and your future. You seem to stop in time, there is no more growth, and you just stay the same. Over time you may start to feel broken inside. You become unhappy, and in a way, give up your life and your needs, lose boundaries, and act like everything about you doesn’t matter anymore. But if you are still here reading then you have already decided that now it does, and yes you do matter, and life will start to change.
Change is always a scary thing, and not knowing where you are heading when you want to release your past is even scarier. As we move through life, sometimes we make decisions without even realizing that we are making them based on our past instead of on our current situations. We do things because we just assume that is how it was so that is how it will always be. That is false. The best thing about life is it is ever changing. We can jump on board with change or stay the same – the decision is always ours. We can release past hurt and old ways of doing things by being present in our life. The decision to move forward comes by accepting that the past is the past and you did the best you could with the information given to you at that time. I know from my experience that not wanting to change sometimes came from a place of loyalty, tradition, society, wanting to see the good in people, or thinking that the old ways of doing things were the right way, there are many, many reasons. What I have learned from my experience is those reasons we give ourselves are also excuses and the real thing keeping us from change is fear. Fear of making a mistake, fear of being judged, fear of moving out of our comfort zone, fear of the future, fear of the unknown, the list goes on. The lesson is to acknowledge the thoughts and the fear and make those changes anyway. Detach in love and move on. Trust in yourself and your intuition and trust in God and trust that the Universe will always have your back. You are never alone. You can always trust that part of the journey if everything you are doing is coming from a good place.
My kids and I now joke that if we want to make a change, set an intention and then stay out of it, because life will always work out better that way. We have all stopped trying to control everything and learning to go with the flow. Let Go and Let God. You must learn to trust that there is a better life out there for yourself. When you come from a place of hurt and pain and trauma all you want to do is control everything and usually end up making more of a mess of your life than it was before. The reason for that is because you are still a product of your situation and trying to control everything in your outer world. No matter what you do or try to do, the result is always the same. That way of doing things will never work because you haven’t healed yet and have not taken control of your inner world. Inner chaos breeds outer chaos. Once you take control of your inner world and learn to control your thoughts and emotions and how you think and how you react, then your outer world will become a reflection of that. Release any attachments and practice self-love, forgiveness and acceptance. When you find inner peace and learn to trust in yourself, that is when the chains from the past are broken. You will accept everything about your past, both good and bad, because it made you who you are. That is when you are free to move forward and create the life you have always dreamed of.
You, and only you, will be in control of your present and your future.
In love and light,
Fran
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