I am posting my blog later in the day today because I was attending an all-day real estate seminar. I am in a learn whatever you can while you can phase right now and scheduling that around work seems to be all over the place. While driving down the road this morning to attend the seminar, I couldn’t stop looking at the trees along the highway, which I am sure is because I am used to Florida where everything is just green. The leaves are beginning to change color here now that Fall is upon us and has become my favorite time of year since I live up north. The view as I sat in the passenger seat seemed like the perfect photo for this week’s blog because it was a reminder that the road ahead is filled with many twists and turns, many unknowns, but what a beautiful view.
Creating a new life isn’t easy and comes with many challenges. When I packed up my life two years ago, I had a plan and a destination for my life in mind. I quickly found out that was not the plan God and the Universe had for me, and I would have to adjust accordingly and trust the process. Yes, the initial plan was mine and a good one, but the changes and healing that took place the moment I landed up north was nothing I was prepared for. I mentioned in a previous blog, that I had been gone for thirty years, but my past was right here waiting for me to deal with the moment I got back. You can stuff feelings, run as far away as you like and for as long as you like, but eventually you will have to make peace with the choices and actions of your past. That was the part I was not ready for. I opened a new layer of healing that I didn’t even know was still there. Issues I thought were healed and gone came right back up and screaming to be heard. I was completely unaware that there was more healing lying dormant just waiting for me. Looking back now over the past two years, I wouldn’t change anything. I can see with clarity every experience and every minute of healing was another steppingstone for me to get right where I am now. I am starting a new job, a new career, looking for a new place to call home, and my life is in a deep sea of change. Scary but also very exciting.
Each steppingstone since I got here held a new experience, or a new lesson, and a new way of living. Some of those stones were connections, some reconnections and some just a visit to my past. I am understanding that sometimes creating a new life requires you to revisit someone or something before letting it go so you can move forward in a healthy way. Other times creating a new life requires you to revisit people and take them along on your journey. Sometimes they walk beside you and other times may require you to be their mentor, be their guide. These experiences along the way, both good and bad, are all part of the journey and moments that would have never happened if I tried to jump right from a to z and only focus on the end goal. I would have missed out on so much if I wasn’t aware to take things slow and understand that I should be going with the flow. The journey, and all the moments and experiences in between are where your focus needs to be and where you must be present and take it all in. The experiences before you reach your destination can be the most needed because they help define who you are, and how you handle the journey will help shape who you become.
Many of us who have a traumatic past have developed black and white thinking – its this or that, it’s up or down, its good or bad, not realizing that there is a whole gray area out there and sometimes that middle part of life is where the best part resides. Life doesn’t always have to be so dramatic and/or chaotic. There doesn’t always have to be something exciting or eventful going on. Sometimes life can be just quiet and peaceful, and you can just be. That is the part of the journey that I didn’t understand at first because everything about my life was chaotic. Sometimes when we aren’t comfortable in the peace and quiet we will unknowingly create drama and chaos because that’s our comfort zone. We may become so focused on the end game that we forget to enjoy the middle. Sometimes the truth is we may not know how to enjoy the middle.
I am proof that you can learn to enjoy the middle and be comfortable with the unknown. I am proof that you can go from trauma to trusting in something bigger than yourself to the point you will take a leap of faith whenever offered the chance. I know that I relocated my life and came here with a plan and an end game in mind, but looking back now if that end game happened as soon as I got here, I would have missed out on so much of the journey. The people and experiences over the past two years have changed me and made me stronger. I have laughed, cried, reconnected with old people, formed relationships with new people, and created a new life for myself. That new life I have created is evolving and changing every day.
I have no doubt that a new life, a beautiful life, is always right there waiting as soon as you are willing to step out of your comfort zone, take a few chances, have faith and just keep going.
In love and light,
Fran
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