I have mentioned many times throughout the last year that one of the main reasons for starting this blog was so that I could pass all the information that I’ve learned on to you. While attending The Southwest Institute of Healing Arts (SWIHA), where I did my spiritual studies, I had the honor of meeting so many instructors who were very generous with their knowledge and all the tools I needed to be on this healing journey and to help others along the way. I also had a friend I met right before that when I was at my lowest, about fifteen years ago, who taught me so many things that I will be eternally grateful for. She taught me about healing. She introduced myself to my true self with words like intuitive, empath, vibration, and positive and negative energy. She also introduced me to essential oils, crystals, teas, baths, tarot, and just learning to be ok with myself and my relationship with God. She taught me to embrace my spiritual side and everything I had been hiding and pushing away since I was a little girl. She ran a business at the time, and I didn’t have the money to pay for her services, so we bartered babysitting and laundry services. I had something practical she needed, and she had the wisdom I needed. Her Grandpa was Native American Indian, and he always told her that we have everything we need right here on this earth to help us to survive, and to heal. After over a decade later, I can honestly say I believe that, and I live that.
I always say that I am more in touch with God and my spirituality now than I was during twelve years of Catholic school. The reason for this could be because, at that age, I did not want to be told what to do. I did not want to be told what to wear. I was more focused on trying to figure out where I fit in. It didn’t help that I was also growing up without a mom, so I already felt different and that I didn’t belong anywhere. I honestly believe that all my struggles from a young girl to a teenager combined with all the wrong decisions I made, as well as the right ones, all got me to the place I am right now. I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I have a wonderful relationship with my kids, and I finally have a wonderful relationship with myself. I have family, I have friends, I love where I live, and I have a sense of community again and I’m allowing myself to open up to a new way of living and be seen and be heard. I am learning to love.
She also taught me about being an empath. My whole life I could feel what others are feeling, but until I understood what that meant I couldn’t decipher others’ feelings from my own. I was a chameleon. I understand now that’s why I struggled so much in my second marriage. He suffered from PTSD but, at that time, I had zero boundaries and couldn’t tell his feelings of despair from my own. Without understanding the boundaries that I needed to have in place, I thought his feelings were mine. I slowly became him. His pain became my pain, and his anger became my anger. That time in my life took very long to recover from, and the most impactful event in my life that finally sent me on this journey. When you hit bottom and feel so broken and so lost in who you are there is no other way but up and to heal. I can still remember the day with clarity when I picked myself up off the floor and knew that if I didn’t, I was going to die. Maybe not that day, but if I didn’t heal my soul and find a better way to live, then my body would eventually fail me. My kids were my whole world, and they needed me, and I knew at that moment I had to do this.
Once that choice was made the healing showed up - and the people to help me heal also showed up. I always say that my studies at SWIHA saved me, and I didn’t find the school - it found me. I was introduced to a world of people who were just like me and found myself in an environment of healing and spirituality where I finally felt like I belonged. The crazy part is everyone I studied with in my classes said the same thing, they were guided there. I embraced two years of studying and received my Integrative Healing Arts Practitioner Diploma which allowed me to add Spiritual Coaching and Hypnosis to my resume. A few years later I also became a Reiki Practitioner. The world of combining my background in art with my spiritual studies is the healing through art existence I strive for. That decision to work on myself knowing I was the main ingredient in my life that had to change, is where this journey really began. I went back to the beginning of who I was and who I was meant to be in this lifetime - and that is when I began to heal. That is when I became a healer.
Thank you for reading my blog and getting to know me, and I hope in doing so, you have been getting to know yourself again as well.
In love and light,
Fran
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